Valley News – Merry artificial intelligence

When I heard that artificial intelligence was writing creative articles, my first thought was, “Well, it could write my column for me.”

IBM says artificial intelligence, or AI, “uses computers and machines to mimic the problem-solving and decision-making capabilities of the human mind.” Wow. It was only a matter of time before it created cyborgs that looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger. They will either destroy us completely or make us happy with light jokes, depending on how it goes.

At the same time, has a chat program that is open to members of the human race for chat. I recently gave it a try in a scientific cause and in case there was something in it for me.

To pick a random topic, I asked OpenAI if it would write a joke about retired journalist Dan Mackie in his late 70s, walking a lot and writing a column every two weeks.

“Absolutely!” Amab said.

And here is the summary:

(Because this column sometimes adapts a little bit of reality to the joke, I point out that this is true Real AI text. My opinion is in parentheses.)

Retired journalist Dan Mackie always gets a little lost and he always goes up for a good adventure. So when his neighbor Harold asked them to tour the Upper Valley of New Hampshire and Vermont, Dan entered.

(More than 5 miles? I have to think about it.)

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Harold, who was a few years younger than Dan, was always a little fit and he decided to show Dan that age was just a number. On the other hand, Dan is just happy to be out of the house and see the new scenery.

(I do not know any Harold. Is he following me?)

The two friends set out on a beautiful autumn morning, full of maps and excitement. They started in Hanover, exploring the fascinating downtown area and checking out local shops and restaurants.

(Nothing about jaywalking college students?)

When they walk, Dan can do nothing but amaze with the spectacular scenery and the people they encounter along the way. There are farmers selling fresh produce on the streets, toys in the park and even a group of llamas on the farm.

(Really Marco Polo 2.0, right?)

Despite the many obstacles they face along the way – including getting lost a few times and struggling to find a cup of coffee – Dan and Harold had a great time on their journey. And when they come home tired but happy, Dan realizes he has something great to share in his next column.

Probably not great and certainly not funny. I have not threatened yet.

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Since this is a happy season and it is technically not for me, I also suggested OpenAI write a Christmas story for the valley. The resulting tale is very simple – sweet, it reads like it was written with candy.

It was a cold, snowy December evening in the upper valley, and Santa Claus was getting ready for his long journey around the world to give gifts to all the good boys and girls.

As he prepares the wheelchair and the reindeer, Santa can do nothing but think of all the wonderful memories he has had of visiting the Upper Valley over the years. Friendly people, beautiful countryside and cozy little towns all bring a smile to his face.

Finally, it was time for Santa to leave. He got into his wheelchair, waved goodbye to Mrs. Claus and the elves, and went down to the starry night sky.

As he flew from city to city, Santa stopped to play with the children and handed out their gifts. He visited Hanover, Lebanon and White River Junction, sharing the joy and happiness everywhere he went.

(And other cities, too, I hope, or elves will hear about it on the Norwich list.)

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Finally, after a busy night, Santa returned to the North Pole tired but happy. He knows he makes a lot of kids happy and that is the best feeling in the world.

Yes, I did not get OpenAI to write my column, but I came very close. We will see if it is smarter than me and there is a bill in the mail.

In any case, Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to the rest of my readers. Merry Christmas if you celebrate it with respect or both.

Another column is placed; Now it is time for a long winter break.

Dan Mackie lives in West Lebanon. He can be reached at [email protected]


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