One of the biggest stumbling blocks with any downsizing — whether it’s in preparation for a move or just for clutter or gain in space — is the “maybe” stack. Knowing what to keep and what to dispose of through donation or landfill is relatively easy. It’s the maybe stack that scares people a lot: not only is it the biggest stack, but there are too many questions associated with each element in it. Would a close relative want that? Is it worth the money? Grandma gave me this; should I really get rid of it? I might need this again to make that special soufflé or pot au feu.
I’ve touched on the maybe stack in previous columns, but now it’s time to really get into it.
I recently attacked a maybe bunch after losing my father, and I’ve found extra empathy for my clients. I’d always known how hard it was, but going through it myself led me to an even greater understanding.
So here are a few tips for managing the maybe stack:
Set reasonable expectations: The whole reason for a maybe stack is that you don’t know what to do with some items. It will take multiple trips back to the stack to shred it. Don’t beat yourself up, set a goal to make decisions about a few points each time you visit. Be patient with yourself. Start with 10-15 minutes. Pay homage to items that may have been in your family for generations but you don’t want to keep.
Taking pictures: This makes sense for several reasons:
• If you think a family member might want the item, send them a picture and get a commitment
• If there is something that has sentimental value but does not bring you joy or benefit, take a photo that you can look at from time to time to remind yourself of the mood. And remember, if you donate or give it away, someone else can enjoy the item
• If you think an item might have intrinsic value, comparing its image with Google Seek or a similar app can help you determine if your item is valuable and if you want to sell it.
Be honest with yourself: will you ever make that particular soufflé or pot au feu again? And if so, will it be often enough to make room for the special pan/device? Use this tough approach on a range of specialty items like sporting gear, carpentry/plumbing/power tools, clothing (you’ll probably never wear that plaid leisure suit or pink prom dress again), and of course, kitchen appliances.
Make a list of fundraisers and recycling points: Sussex County is blessed to have many charities that accept donations. Have a list of those who accept clothing, household items, furniture, tools, sports equipment, etc., as well as their location, hours of operation, and whether or not they offer collection services. Also, find out about the rules at your local landfill/transfer station, especially for recycling things like old electronics.
You’ll be surprised that after a few visits to the Maybe Cluster, you’ve made some progress over the course of a few days! For the last items in your stack, here’s a guide: if it has any sentimental value and you have room for it, keep it. If it has no sentimental value or intrinsic value—and it’s still on the maybe stack after several days—throw it out.
